When evaluating relationships to find if there is fairness and equality, there are certain checkpoints one must consider to make a good decision. Always start with yourself. The concern with establishing to ensure that you are not being used, or treated unfairly in the relationship (friends/family).
Many times, the question on friendship comes up when you want someone to be there for you and they can’t.
Before any evaluation, it is good to know both sides to make an assessment. If you are truly friends, you may know the answer to this. If this is an acquaintance, it is a question you may need to consider first before being upset with the person.
- Do they have a lot going on in their life and can’t be there?
If the answer is yes, then it may be they can’t be there for someone else now. With the challenge being faced, for them, it may be difficult and feels like they are in the forest and can’t see past the trees. forgive them.
Checkpoints to Consider if that is not the case:
- Did the person show empathy when they rejected assisting you?
- Did the person feel bad? or come up with an alternate resolution to your issue?
- Did they just blow you off? Change the subject back to something in their life?
If the answer is yes to any of these, and this is not their personality, then there is a problem in this friendship that must be addressed. The decision may include one or more of the following:
- A discussion with the friend to save the relationship. Often times there may be miscommunication. The value on this will be based on time spent together in the relationship OR the bond/ties developed to raise the value of this friendship versus others in your life.
- Walk Away. If this is a constant thing in your life or causing stress, then it is time to make a decision. Some battles, depending on the circumstances is best to keep silent and move forward.
- Appreciate who did come into your life during that time of need and accept that.
If this is WHO they are ARE and HOW they WERE when you met them, then you have a decision to make. Either accept them for who they are and speak up for yourself more to balance the relationship or walk away.
- Where you asking to SEE if they would help you?
- What is the real reason it is bothering you?
Really here, you must acknowledge the root cause of your hurt to this. By identifying why you are upset it is easier to separate your feelings toward the actual situation versus the person that “failed” you.
As humans we are emotional beings.
Things will hurt us, no matter how positive you are. The not so good feelings are our signals that something needs attention.
Meditate and be in sync with your spirit to be able to guide you forward from negative thoughts and create positive realities.