I can be own worst critic and hold myself back in the worst ways. Paralyzed with overthinking and putting things together for a whole fit. The process can be exhausting when learning something new or tired of the humdrum of failure. Sometimes you just want things to work.
You are the gift that grows the garden.
Not the flower to picked from a tree.
It was becoming exhausting and had to take a step back. Follow my own advice and just breathe. I actually took a walk and cleared my mind.
See for me, this journey was not fully sought after. I was tapped on the shoulder and sometimes just sat down to be told about waking up to my true mission.
It took years.
Since a child, I’ve experienced things and was always told that it doesn’t exist or you can’t do it and was brought into conformity. In my early 20’s things really began to shift and a few years after that I secretly began to explore, read and find what I was being guided to do.
I won’t lie, it was very intimidating to hear what people would say about me and what I would do or who I am…To me, I’m just Keshia. But I know different now.
I share this because, its not just me that goes through these pitfalls in the mind. I know that I went through this to understand better why people worry, doubt and how hard it is for when you lose someone you love.
I went through these things, the constraints, being around closed thinking, too trusting and believing in friends that had jealousy and bad intentions for me. Trust those are no easy pills to swallow.
No the whole world is not against me, but we all go through these things. Everyone has been lied to, cheated on, manipulated and had shit happen to them that makes no sense at all. But it is designed to wake us up.
Self-doubt is a bitch. The mind when you are feeling the trueness of your spirit, really plays a role on you and knows its power and the types of negative energy to draw to you hold you back. But you my friend, must be strong and trust in the positive feelings and energy within you to break past the turmoil.
Be you. Something I am telling myself. I have meditated so many times and received information to the point, by the time I read or watch something I already know, its already been done. Then I feel like the ding dong disciple in bible that still had doubt after things that they witnessed. smh
Its the natural high, the fast track of the world that leaves everything short lived. But, embrace your moment, be you and don’t fall short of the gifts inside of you. I’m gonna teach and we are gonna do this the right way.
So be ready, cause the gloves are off.